Joke I found funny...

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myglaren
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by myglaren »

Like many people, I had no idea what to do after I left school.
But after thinking about it for a while, I decided to go home.
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Huskyxantia »

saw a scribble on a toilet wall years ago said

Masterbation stunts your growth then on the lower part of the wall someone wrote , now you bloody tell me.....
Husky. :?
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by myglaren »

A bloke stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?
The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.'
The bloke left.

A few days later, the same bloke stuck his head in the door and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?'
The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours.'
The bloke left.

A week later, the same bloke stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?
The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half .
The bloke left.

The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favour , follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back.'

A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.
The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves?'
Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, 'Your house!'
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Huskyxantia »

:rofl2: above
Husky. :?
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Steve Walsh »

Morris & his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter."
Esther alway replied, "I know Morris , but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars".
One year Esther & Morris wnet to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance".
To this, Esther replied, "Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word, I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word, it's fifty dollars."
Morris & Esther agree & up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over & over again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris & said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"
Spoiler: show
Morris replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!"
Thanx to Marc and all the admins & knowledgeable people that make this the best forum on the interweb. =D> =D> =D>
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Peugeot 207 , 307sw

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Peugeot 206cc raised from the dead & saved from the crusher traded up to a 308cc
307sw traded for the 207 .

Wish list.
Peugeot 405 diesel
106 or 206
Mondeo Mk1 diesel once owned 1.8tdi was real nice.
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Huskyxantia »

:lol:
Husky. :?
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by mickthemaverick »

Not sure if this was the same barbers as Steve was talking about but a sailor stuck his head round the door of the barber and asked "How much is a crew cut mate?"
"£3.75" replied the barber. "Ok that 's great" said the sailor and turned round and yelled "Come on lads!!"
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure!
I used to ride on two wheels, but now I need all four!
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Hell Razor5543 »

mickthemaverick wrote: 23 Jun 2021, 18:02 Not sure if this was the same barbers as Steve was talking about but a sailor stuck his head round the door of the barber and asked "How much is a crew cut mate?"
"£3.75" replied the barber. "Ok that 's great" said the sailor and turned round and yelled "Come on lads!!"
Erm, you posted this joke 2 pages ago! :D
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by mickthemaverick »

Hell Razor5543 wrote: 23 Jun 2021, 18:19
Erm, you posted this joke 2 pages ago! :D
So I did, I thought I'd heard it before!! :-D
I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure!
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Hell Razor5543 »

mickthemaverick wrote: 23 Jun 2021, 18:22
Hell Razor5543 wrote: 23 Jun 2021, 18:19
Erm, you posted this joke 2 pages ago! :D
So I did, I thought I'd heard it before!! :-D
Not to worry, I know that there have been occasions where I have posted jokes up twice on this thread! :D
Last edited by Hell Razor5543 on 19 Jul 2021, 07:22, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by myglaren »

I'm sure I have been guilty of the same.
I saw a bull charging in a field yesterday.
Who knew they used electricity?
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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Paul-R »

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As I get older I think a lot about the hereafter - I go into a room and then wonder what I'm here after.

Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.

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Re: Joke I found funny...

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Re: Joke I found funny...

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Re: Joke I found funny...

Post by Peter.N. »

myglaren wrote: 23 Jun 2021, 20:27 Image

Oh yes that's me. :o :oops: :? :roll:
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