Joke I found funny...
Moderator: RichardW
Re: Joke I found funny...
I think my coworkers are gay... Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
Re: Joke I found funny...
As I stepped out of the shower, I heard someone in my kitchen downstairs. Knowing that my wife was out, I grabbed my 1903 heirloom rifle - which no longer works - and crept downstairs, forgetting the fact that I was in my birthday suit.
I came around the corner with the gun raised, only to find my wife loading the dishwasher. “What are you doing?” she asked.
“I thought I heard an intruder. I came down to scare him.”
Scanning the contours of my doughy, naked body, she mumbled, “You didn’t need the gun.”
I came around the corner with the gun raised, only to find my wife loading the dishwasher. “What are you doing?” she asked.
“I thought I heard an intruder. I came down to scare him.”
Scanning the contours of my doughy, naked body, she mumbled, “You didn’t need the gun.”
- white exec
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and lots of Rovers before that: 1935 Ten, 1947 Sixteen, 1960 P5 3-litre, 1966 P6 2000, 1972 P6 2000TC, and 1975 P6B 3500S - x 1752
Re: Joke I found funny...
No comment...
Appeared on our local For Sale website:
For Sale:
Einhell (German) automatic domestic water system. Has durable plastic filter built in. Bought in error as it's for pumping water up, and I needed a pump for bringing water down. It was set up and primed by plumber . . .
Special winter price sale in shop for €150, selling for €100 no offers.
Appeared on our local For Sale website:
For Sale:
Einhell (German) automatic domestic water system. Has durable plastic filter built in. Bought in error as it's for pumping water up, and I needed a pump for bringing water down. It was set up and primed by plumber . . .
Special winter price sale in shop for €150, selling for €100 no offers.
Chris
- myglaren
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Ooops.
Previously:
2009 Honda Civic :(
C5, C5, Xantia, BX, GS, Visa.
R4, R11TXE, R14, R30TX - x 4924
Re: Joke I found funny...
My grandad knew the exact day he was going to die.
The judge told him!
The judge told him!
-
- (Donor 2017)
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- x 59
Re: Joke I found funny...
A guy stopped me on the street trying to sell me a coffin. 'Thats the last thing I'll need' I said to him.
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- (Donor 2017)
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- x 59
Re: Joke I found funny...
I was dancing with this girl to a Barry white song. The sex pistols came on and she said to me 'is that Jonny rotten' I said 'I hope not, I've only used it twice'.
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- (Donor 2017)
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- x 59
Re: Joke I found funny...
I told my wife that I was watch a good movie last night with that actor from Rocky called Sylvester. 'Stalone' she said, I said no it's finished.
Re: Joke I found funny...
On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find her husband had settled down on the couch.
When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, "It's Lent."
In tears, she sobbed, "Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Who did you lend it to, why now and for how long?!"
When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, "It's Lent."
In tears, she sobbed, "Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Who did you lend it to, why now and for how long?!"
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- Donor 2023
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- x 3008
Re: Joke I found funny...
How many weeks does each year initially start out with?
- Spoiler: show
James
ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
Ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
Ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
C5 2.2HDi VTX+
Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
Ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
Ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
C5 2.2HDi VTX+
Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
- Paul-R
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Re: Joke I found funny...
You'll have to explain that one to me?
As I get older I think a lot about the hereafter - I go into a room and then wonder what I'm here after.
Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.
"Trying is the first step towards failure" ~ Homer J Simpson
Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.
"Trying is the first step towards failure" ~ Homer J Simpson
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- x 1
Re: Joke I found funny...
I really liked the "Jesus Saves" one, but only because it was so bad it became funny again