What is the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? One is heavy, the other is a little lighter.
Why is an elephant large, grey, and wrinkled? (first punchline) Because if it was small, round and white it would be an aspirin! (second punchline) Have you ever tried to wash an elephant?
What is the difference between an elephant and a letter box? If you don't know, I'm not going to ask you to post a letter!
James ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.2HDi VTX+
Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
While golfing a woman is stung by a bee. She runs up to the club pro for help, and he says, "Where were you stung?"
Our heroine responds, "Between the first and the second hole."
The golf pro snickers and says, "I think your stance was to wide!"
I haven't posted here for a while
The reason is that I've been in hospital.
My problem started when I tried the Dog Food Diet which involved filling one's pockets with dog biscuits & snacking on them whenever hunger pangs commenced.
The diet went well for several days until I awoke in hospital surrounded by my mates who were anxious to know if it was the biscuits that had disagreed with me.
It was therefore with much embarrassment that I had to tell them that the dog biscuits were fine.
The problem was that I had stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setters arse & was hit by a taxi.
James ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.2HDi VTX+
Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
I asked one hundred women what their favourite soap in the shower was. The most popular answer was "How the f**k did you get in here?!?".
James ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.2HDi VTX+
Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
Stickyfinger wrote: 17 Mar 2025, 18:35
I have also seen bits of Jim....and can confirm they do look rather "iffy", why would anybody carry their flap-jacks there I thought ?
Jim
Runner, cyclist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...
There a re rumours that somebody is attempting to develop a Seniors GPS device. Not only will it tell them how to get to where they are going, it will also remind them of why they are going there!
James ex BX 1.9
ex Xantia 2.0HDi SX
ex Xantia 2.0HDi LX
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.0HDi VTR
ex C5 2.2HDi VTX+
Yes, I am paranoid, but am I paranoid ENOUGH?
Out amongst the stars, looking for a world of my own!
Hell Razor5543 wrote: 22 Mar 2025, 16:50
There a re rumours that somebody is attempting to develop a Seniors GPS device. Not only will it tell them how to get to where they are going, it will also remind them of why they are going there!
I so need one of those James - many a true word spoken in jest
Jim
Runner, cyclist, duathlete, Citroen AX fan and the CCC Citroenian 'From A to Z' Columnist...